Now Playing Tracks

bunnymundnotaroo:

touchingtennantshair:

weeping-angels-take-the-ponds:

saintdane05:

mollyhiddlestheavenger:

thelostnightingale:

imjustthecoffeeboy:

ariverrunsthroughtime:

hesaidonlyoneword-run:

shot on the tail bone? 

Bludgeoned to death on top of my head?

Stabbed in the elbow?

stabbed right the in center of my chest!

So apparently I was stabbed in my right lung…

I got one on my dick

My upper thigh…hmmm

I don’t have one. What.

((If you don’t have one, you died of something internal. (This includes old age))

:l I feel lame, cause i have an angel kiss on my left shin :l

(Source: nowyoukno)

sextspert:

superwholock-at-hogwarts:

chevvybar:

hiddlestalker:

lifehackable:

More Life Hacks Here

Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate you
Day 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbag
Month 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
Month 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? Please
Month 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.
Year 1: One down. 17 to go…
Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…
Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEART
Year 3: Oh thank god that’s over
Year 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shit
Year 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS

Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?

year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!

year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union